>when out of time and in need of a good post, invite a guest blogger.. without them knowing. works like a charm.
i present, the bloggess.
It’s moments like this that I want to quit blogging and twittering and instead find a less complicated way to communicate with the world. Like throwing leaflets off my roof, or tattooing random thoughts on stray cats. Except I’d have to shave the cats first to tattoo them, and when their fur grew back you wouldn’t be able to see the post I’d written on them any more, which would totally suck. So really I’d need to tattoo those hairless, sphinx cats except that their wrinkles would probably cover up my writing when they sat down, and where I wrote “I’d pummel Hitler with rocks!” it would just come out “Hitler rocks!” and then all these hairless, suspected nazi cats would get shot and then later the gunmen would examine the body and actually see that they were mistaken and they’d have to live with the guilt of killing an innocent cat who did not think Hitler rocked at all. So to keep the cats safe I’d have to make little sandwich boards for them to wear around with my posts written on them. It’d be hard to comment on though and there would be no spam control so probably by the time you found one of my stray, sandwich-board cat posts it would be covered with badly scrawled viagra adverts. Fuck. Never mind. I’ll just keep blogging.