>i know you read every word i write.
            sometimes even more than once.
            im a lurker on your blog, too.

                        i miss your words, by the way.

you always think its about someone other than you.
            someone from my past, my imagination, my future.
            especially since i dont use “your” label any more.

                        youre wrong.

i wish i could say youre not in my words, on my mind.
            i whisper g’morning when i wake up, g’night when i go to sleep
            during day i try to ignore you. how am i doing?

                        yes, it takes energy to hug you.

when i think about you i think of colors pink and white.
            the time you take to put on your eyeliner.
            your brown eyes that sometimes pierce unintentionally.

                        i have to go. i want to be happy.

>mislim, da je dezevalo, a nisem prepricana
hlace se susijo na radiatorju in desnega cevlja se drzi rumen list
tisti majhen, od breze pred vhodom v hiso

kako tocno sem prisla domov se ne spomnim
rada bi rekla, da sem bila pijana, ampak sem pila kavo
o cem sma se pogovarjali? a ti ves?

zadnja stvar, katere se spominjam, si ti
najvec 2cm stran od mene
to je vse kar vem

in potem si me poljubila.

>i wish i hadnt done that.
i want more than just memories of your fingernails on my back.

>constant questions on my mind
well, what did we do?
fall in love?
develop an addiction to each other?
indulge in seductive compatibility of mind and body?

i wouldnt know what to call it
but i know what it feels like
and thats gonna be hard to forget.

>there will be a moment when ill be fed up
ill walk away without saying a word
i wont turn around when you call my name
ill ignore you and know its the right thing to do

stupid thing, tho..?
you wont even get it and still call me for coffee following day.

>each time
i remembered yesterday

it was raining all day
we watched the world fall asleep

i held you at night
breathing in the scent of your hair whenever i awoke

you played with my fingers
whispering tender words in my ear

the raindrops, intense and pelting
your face, shy and truthful

and as i write this
a smile slips softly across my face.

>v manj kot sekundi si sleces majico in se pokrijes. tako simpaticna si, ko ti je nerodno. mrzlo je v moji sobi. vem, najraje bi se zavila v kovter. gretje se ni prizgano in kalorifer tudi ne pomaga prevec.
v roke mi porines kremo in se ulezes na trebuh. direktna si, to mi je vsec. lasje ti padajo cez obraz, spet skrivas pogled. tako se pocutis bolj varno.
s kremo med dlanema si ogrejem roke. z desnim sredincem potujem po tvoji hrbtenici, od tilnika do roba tvojih hlack. poskusam se skoncentrirat za masazo, ampak mi ne uspeva.
pogled mi uhaja na tvoj vrat, blond lase, se vedno zagorel hrbet, obrvi, celo, ramena. s palcema narisem pot, kjer bi raje sla z mojimi ustnicami in jezikom.

vsak tvoj izdih mi pospesi ze tako hitro bitje srca. z vsakim dotikom cutim tiste metulje v trebuhu in z vsako preteklo minuto prosim za vsaj se eno.

(se tega sploh zavedas?)

>id call her and tell her i miss her
      but her phone is off and msgs arent delivered.
id write her an email and tell her i miss her presence
      but i dont know if she even checks it
id contact her on msn and tell her i want to see her
      but shes rarely online these days
id take her out for coffee and tell her that i need her
      but she didnt show up yesterday either
id hold her and tell her that i love her
      but..

i would.

I don’t know if you noticed anything different
It’s getting dark and it’s getting cold and the nights are getting long
I don’t know if you even noticed at all
That I’m long gone baby, I’m long gone

>i hear the outside door close
something tells me its you and i get nervous
usually you give a slight knock, but not this time
it confuses me

maybe i simply wanted it too much?

and then i see you looking back at me in a mirror
that smile that still mesmerizes me every time
shyness in your eyes when you avert your look
softness of your skin when you wrap your arms around me

i can still feel your lips on my neck.

your fingertips tracing the inked lines on my collar bone
slowly you replace them with your lips
i struggle to slow my breathing while holding onto your hips
and i can feel myself falling in love with you again

with a smile on my face i leave and close the door behind me.