>im on the sofa, trying to watch tv
today csi just isnt interesting enough
every 2s i look at my phone
thinking i mightve missed a new message beep
(beep beep)
aaah, there it is!
i read it with my mouth slightly open
its dry, licking my lips doesnt help
your description is so vivid
it sends shivers down my spine
youd do what with your lips?
and your hands would go where?!
youre working, you say?
tough luck, im sending you this photo
i already know your reply
so, yes.. “fuck me.”
>evo, kokr obljubljeno, se drugi del.
kaj se je potem s to zeno zgodilo? pa, enkrat kasneje se je celo spomnila poklicat, smo ji dal se eno sanso, ble skupaj par mescov, potem pa ji je izgleda opeka priletela v glavo in je spizdila na svedsko za par tednov. brez da bi mi povedala. kljub temu, da sma kao bile skupaj. (a sluuuucajno kdo tule najde kak vzorec?! jst morem resno k psihiatru, tole bodo ornk travme, hehe.)
moja reakcija? odpisala sem jo po celi crti, nisem se ji javljala na telefon, jo totalno zignorirala v mestu, itd. mogla sem jo dat iz zivljenja, iz glave, in mi je tudi uspelo.
za skoraj dve leti.
a ker vsi vemo, da ne morem bit jezna na folk predolgo, in da imam rada poslihtane odnose (pa ce na koncu od odnosa ne ostane niti prvi o), sem jo enkrat po dolgem casu le poklicala in ob kofeju sma predebatirale celotno zadevo. jaz sem poslusala njo in njene cudne razloge, zakaj je sla. ona je poslusala mene in vse, kar sem ji takrat lahko vrgla v faco.
dandanes? sma kolegici. slisima se bolj redko, vidima se manjkrat, a zena mi je kul in mi vedno bo. in ja, upam, da jo vidim konec meseca. z ali brez klobuka.
ps- tole sem zdaj se enkrat prebrala, in ugotavljam, da ni prevec SFW. ni glih slikovni material, tako da lahko imate stran odprto tudi, ce ste v sluzbi (ref: folks at fotona and gov.si, hehe), ampak.. ja.
pps- in morem priznat, da me presenetlo, da sem kdaj tok “graficno” pisala. mislim, da bom mogla it mal nazaj na oni blog, pogledat te moje bedarije, mogoce kaksnga mal scenzurirat, itd.
========
(may 20 ’08)
soon you showed you didnt plan on being only a stranger;
your hands on my face, your lips on mine,
your hips thrusting against my body.
apparently you were in a hurry.
i slow you down,
“we’ve got all night, youre not going back to setúbal today!”
your first reaction was one of panic,
but was easily dismissed by a slow suck of your tongue.
i undo your bra, you undid mine.
i almost took off your shirt, i wanted to kiss your breasts.
you grab hold of my hand, reminding me we’re in public.
“right.. ahem.. sorry”
i bury my head in that spot between your neck and shoulders,
you bite my earlobe and moan loudly, not caring any more for people passing by.
it turns me on even more than your hand between my legs.
i guess you understood immediately my thoughts,
why else would you then quietly whisper “please, fuck me now”?
i pull you upwards and you wrap your legs around my body.
positioning yourself onto my hips and finding my lips,
i reluctantly let go off your hair
and put my arm underneath you to keep you from falling.
i undo your pants and slip in my hand.
with a disbelief in your eyes you look at me
when i take it back out and lick my finger.
“just to know how you taste like before you cum.”
your eyes widen as i put my finger back in you
and you keep them open all the time, looking straight at me,
closing them only when i feel that familiar pressure on my fingers
and that warmth on my hand.
afterwords i remain standing still for what seems an eternity,
with your head lying heavy on my shoulder.
few hours later you left and didnt make that promised call.
>ker me od vceraj se vedno boli glava (samo tole: #twestivalLj je popolnoma uspel!) in ker mislim vsaj par ur prezivet na red bull upstream tekmovanju v tacnu, vam dam samo en “blast from the past”.
ne vem kako sem se spomnila na ta zapis, ker je ze dokaj star (napisan enkrat lani, o dogodku iz leta 2004). ampak mislim, da ima nekaj zraven en kolega in najin vcerajsni pogovor o portugalski (w00t! T – 12 days!), zakaj in cemu sem sla tja prvic, kaj sem tam delala, itd.
ta post (in nadaljevanje le-tega, to dam gor kdaj drugic) je sicer bil objavljen na blogu kolegice, kjer sem obcasno dala kaj gor. ampak, ona je lena, zato je na koncu blog imel vec mojih postov kot njenih. zakaj “na koncu”? ker je imel tisti blog zame vedno neko povezavo z njo. te sedaj ni vec (v taki meri kot bi hotela jaz), tako da malo stagnira.
mogoce pa se kdaj spravim kaj skupaj in dam tja. never say never, i guess.
========
(march 15 ’08)
ive met you for the first time only a few hours ago.
yet, it feels like we’ve known each other for way longer.
no, im not trying to be romantic, just telling you how it feels.
dont know if youve noticed, but we’ve been sitting here for a long time.
its gotten dark already. not many people around.
the cold concrete wall behind my back doesnt bother me.
your jacket? no, i dont need it, thanks.
our eye contact has been getting longer, too.
is it intentional? its weird, tho, isnt it?
for the very least, it is unexpected.
we’ve only chatted a few times before todays meeting,
a few distant msgs to someone unknown.
and yet, here i am, toying with the idea of kissing you.
and i know youre toying with me!
of course you knew id love this place, im a sucker for sea.
you had me going from the first minute; dressed in all white,
with your dark skin and a hat to hide your eyes.
why hide them? im not trying to look into your soul.
dont understand why we’re talking about world politics,
who cares? you seriously do? i doubt it.
why dont you touch my hand? it is right next to your left thigh.
what are you waiting for? youre confusing me.
finally i stand up, youve managed to make me nervous.
youve made me question some of my moves.
you sit onto the wall, spread your legs and pull me to yourself.
okey, now we’re getting somewhere.
your lips are soft, you seem nervous, too.
at least you did for first 10 seconds.
>a couple of caipiroscas later i stumble into my room
i drop my backpack, shoes go flying towards the sofa
and only when i turn on my desk lamp
i
notice
her
lying in my bed
half naked
sleeping
im still standing there with my mouth opened
keys in one hand, phone in the other
“take off your shirt and come to bed”
ok.
>she was standing there, almost naked
leaning forward, reading the small text on posters
giving me an excellent view of her body
hair resting on her shoulders
still cupping her breasts with her hands
her long tanned back exposed
my look follows the line of her low-cut panties
from outer side to between her legs
where her thighs formed a triangle
down to her knees
and back to her perfect pirate treasure
im glad im not a guy
hiding that hard-on wouldve been impossible.
>you held me so tight i could hardly breathe
biting my left shoulder, leaving marks
the final sigh still echos in my head
now my bed is undone
the sheet and covers are off
image of you moving your hips remains
this laundry day is the simplest form of a turn-on.
>you held my face with your hands
looking at me with your wide open eyes
they were pure glass
breathing heavily you rush in for a kiss
you almost made my lip bleed with your bite
your body shakes as youre gripping the bed sheets
making you cum has become my favorite game.
>i write her a message every night before falling asleep
its the same message each and every night
i know it by heart already
“i dont mean to act like an asshole when youre around
its just a defense mechanism, im afraid to let you in
im terrified that youll leave”
i never send it
instead i flip the pillow to the cold side
and inhale deeply, knowing ill be disappointed again.
>its late, time to go home, we both have to wake up early
we stumble towards her bus stop, high on liquor
pausing on way there, kissing, lust taking over
making me want to finish what we’ve started by the river
her big eyes seem even bigger and her kisses taste abnormally sweet
she bites my neck, her hands are all over me
under my tshirt, in my hair, undoing my belt
suddenly she pulls back, stares at me
and whispers, “i want to go to your place.”
>its the only way i have “to talk” to #ona till she comes back.
weekend is still 4 days away.
keep fingers crossed they dont block my account.
