>rada bi te poklicala. (pise, da si “@sql.”) zraven bi te imela ob kavi. (10 dni bo kmalu.) hocem te videt. (kaj naj danes s taxijem?) in jutri ob 04:54h ti bom spet hotla dat lupcka na hrbet. (ja, vem. “nemorm.”)
tole ni “bv.”, tole je ornk “u3pm.”
>blast from the past — pt 2
>evo, kokr obljubljeno, se drugi del.
kaj se je potem s to zeno zgodilo? pa, enkrat kasneje se je celo spomnila poklicat, smo ji dal se eno sanso, ble skupaj par mescov, potem pa ji je izgleda opeka priletela v glavo in je spizdila na svedsko za par tednov. brez da bi mi povedala. kljub temu, da sma kao bile skupaj. (a sluuuucajno kdo tule najde kak vzorec?! jst morem resno k psihiatru, tole bodo ornk travme, hehe.)
moja reakcija? odpisala sem jo po celi crti, nisem se ji javljala na telefon, jo totalno zignorirala v mestu, itd. mogla sem jo dat iz zivljenja, iz glave, in mi je tudi uspelo.
za skoraj dve leti.
a ker vsi vemo, da ne morem bit jezna na folk predolgo, in da imam rada poslihtane odnose (pa ce na koncu od odnosa ne ostane niti prvi o), sem jo enkrat po dolgem casu le poklicala in ob kofeju sma predebatirale celotno zadevo. jaz sem poslusala njo in njene cudne razloge, zakaj je sla. ona je poslusala mene in vse, kar sem ji takrat lahko vrgla v faco.
dandanes? sma kolegici. slisima se bolj redko, vidima se manjkrat, a zena mi je kul in mi vedno bo. in ja, upam, da jo vidim konec meseca. z ali brez klobuka.
ps- tole sem zdaj se enkrat prebrala, in ugotavljam, da ni prevec SFW. ni glih slikovni material, tako da lahko imate stran odprto tudi, ce ste v sluzbi (ref: folks at fotona and gov.si, hehe), ampak.. ja.
pps- in morem priznat, da me presenetlo, da sem kdaj tok “graficno” pisala. mislim, da bom mogla it mal nazaj na oni blog, pogledat te moje bedarije, mogoce kaksnga mal scenzurirat, itd.
========
(may 20 ’08)
soon you showed you didnt plan on being only a stranger;
your hands on my face, your lips on mine,
your hips thrusting against my body.
apparently you were in a hurry.
i slow you down,
“we’ve got all night, youre not going back to setúbal today!”
your first reaction was one of panic,
but was easily dismissed by a slow suck of your tongue.
i undo your bra, you undid mine.
i almost took off your shirt, i wanted to kiss your breasts.
you grab hold of my hand, reminding me we’re in public.
“right.. ahem.. sorry”
i bury my head in that spot between your neck and shoulders,
you bite my earlobe and moan loudly, not caring any more for people passing by.
it turns me on even more than your hand between my legs.
i guess you understood immediately my thoughts,
why else would you then quietly whisper “please, fuck me now”?
i pull you upwards and you wrap your legs around my body.
positioning yourself onto my hips and finding my lips,
i reluctantly let go off your hair
and put my arm underneath you to keep you from falling.
i undo your pants and slip in my hand.
with a disbelief in your eyes you look at me
when i take it back out and lick my finger.
“just to know how you taste like before you cum.”
your eyes widen as i put my finger back in you
and you keep them open all the time, looking straight at me,
closing them only when i feel that familiar pressure on my fingers
and that warmth on my hand.
afterwords i remain standing still for what seems an eternity,
with your head lying heavy on my shoulder.
few hours later you left and didnt make that promised call.
>tenho saudades tuas. volta. já.
>za tale video ne obstaja prava beseda za vse, kar sem zacutla, ko sem ga prvic vidla.
mogoce “saudade“?
Saudade was once described as “the love that remains” or “the love that stays” after someone is gone. Saudade is the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. In Portuguese, ‘Tenho saudades tuas’, translated as ‘I have saudades for you’ means ‘I miss you’.
zanimivost te besede je, da ne obstaja v nobenem drugem jeziku. vsaj ne kot dobesedni prevod. kao definicijo besede je prvi zapisal AFG Bell v knjigi “In Portugal”, leta 1912. seveda obstajajo variacije (malinconia, extrañar, жал за младос(т), itd), noben prevod pa ne pomeni isto.
video ima naslov “live your passion” in je del kampanje za izbor mesta rio de janeiro za gostitelja poletnih olimpijskih iger v 2016.
uporabljena pesem je “cidade maravilhosa” (=marvelous city). nastala je leta 1935 in aurora miranda in andré filho sta jo javnosti prvic predstavila na neki lokalni zabavi. takrat je sicer sla mimo brez vecjega uspeha, a kmalu jo je ljudstvo razglasilo za himno mesta. ime “cidade maravilhosa” naj bi andré dobil iz clanka iz leta 1908, ko je pisatelj coelho neto opisoval lepote mesta ria.
cidade maravilhosa
cheia de encantos mil
cidade maravilhosa
coração do meu brasil
in saudade cutim tocno zdaj, ko se spomnim na tvoj zadnji poljub.
>blast from the past — pt 1
>ker me od vceraj se vedno boli glava (samo tole: #twestivalLj je popolnoma uspel!) in ker mislim vsaj par ur prezivet na red bull upstream tekmovanju v tacnu, vam dam samo en “blast from the past”.
ne vem kako sem se spomnila na ta zapis, ker je ze dokaj star (napisan enkrat lani, o dogodku iz leta 2004). ampak mislim, da ima nekaj zraven en kolega in najin vcerajsni pogovor o portugalski (w00t! T – 12 days!), zakaj in cemu sem sla tja prvic, kaj sem tam delala, itd.
ta post (in nadaljevanje le-tega, to dam gor kdaj drugic) je sicer bil objavljen na blogu kolegice, kjer sem obcasno dala kaj gor. ampak, ona je lena, zato je na koncu blog imel vec mojih postov kot njenih. zakaj “na koncu”? ker je imel tisti blog zame vedno neko povezavo z njo. te sedaj ni vec (v taki meri kot bi hotela jaz), tako da malo stagnira.
mogoce pa se kdaj spravim kaj skupaj in dam tja. never say never, i guess.
========
(march 15 ’08)
ive met you for the first time only a few hours ago.
yet, it feels like we’ve known each other for way longer.
no, im not trying to be romantic, just telling you how it feels.
dont know if youve noticed, but we’ve been sitting here for a long time.
its gotten dark already. not many people around.
the cold concrete wall behind my back doesnt bother me.
your jacket? no, i dont need it, thanks.
our eye contact has been getting longer, too.
is it intentional? its weird, tho, isnt it?
for the very least, it is unexpected.
we’ve only chatted a few times before todays meeting,
a few distant msgs to someone unknown.
and yet, here i am, toying with the idea of kissing you.
and i know youre toying with me!
of course you knew id love this place, im a sucker for sea.
you had me going from the first minute; dressed in all white,
with your dark skin and a hat to hide your eyes.
why hide them? im not trying to look into your soul.
dont understand why we’re talking about world politics,
who cares? you seriously do? i doubt it.
why dont you touch my hand? it is right next to your left thigh.
what are you waiting for? youre confusing me.
finally i stand up, youve managed to make me nervous.
youve made me question some of my moves.
you sit onto the wall, spread your legs and pull me to yourself.
okey, now we’re getting somewhere.
your lips are soft, you seem nervous, too.
at least you did for first 10 seconds.
>UPDEJT: donacije se pocasi a vztrajno nabirajo (Twestival – 11.9. 2009 – Pri Zelenem Zajcu)
>kljub temu je se vedno dovolj prostora za TVOJO donacijo.
denar lahko nakazete direktno na racun Zavetisca za zivali Horjul — NLB SI56 0202 7025 4948 113, ali pa se nam pridruzite na #TwestivalLj danes od 17h naprej Pri Zelenem Zajcu. prav tako lahko tja prinesete hrano, igrace, ali kakrsnokoli drugo donacijo za zivali.
vsega bomo veseli!
• Iz trgovine Bone-Bones sporočajo, da bodo podarili tri škatle (3 x 25 komadov) Delident Bone – kosti za nego pasjih zob.
• Društvo Mačji svet bo v okviru @twestivalLJ zavetišču Horjul namenilo 100 EUR , pomoč za oskrbo mačk.
>i really should ask for my keys back.
>a couple of caipiroscas later i stumble into my room
i drop my backpack, shoes go flying towards the sofa
and only when i turn on my desk lamp
i
notice
her
lying in my bed
half naked
sleeping
im still standing there with my mouth opened
keys in one hand, phone in the other
“take off your shirt and come to bed”
ok.
>prevarala sem te.
>se pred parimi tedni.. ne, lazem, se DVA DNI nazaj sem se zbudila z mislijo nate.
okej, to mogoce pretiravam, ampak si bila ena izmed prvih misli. vsaj med kuhanjem kave, ko sem cakala, da zavre voda. ce bi bilo po moje bi to tudi povedala. ker, kaj tocno je boljse od jutranje kave? in ce to ne morem deliti s tabo, kaj potem lahko?
ampak nisem, sem se drzala nazaj. neke skrivnosti pa morama imeti pred drugo, a ne? (ti si celo predobra v tem. vcasih sem morala vprasati druge, ce so se dolocene stvari res zgodile, ker si mi jih ti preprosto zamolcala. zakaj?)
in potem sem srecala .. NJO. spoznali sva se preko skupnega prijatelja, o njej mi je govoril samo lepe stvari. da je hitra, ustrezljiva, vsesplosno razgledana in da se jo da pregovoriti v vse. tudi v prvih desetih dneh!
enkrat na kavi sem naredila prvi korak.
malo sem bila zivcna, ker nisem vedla kako bo reagirala, ce ji sploh je do tega. njena reakcija je bila vec kot presenetljiva. takoj je bila za, in se danes, ko pomislim na tisti prvi trenutek, me malo zascemi v trebuhu. metuljcki in tko, saj ves. nobena me se ni v tako kratkem casu tako fascinirala. na vsako vprasanje ima odgovor. vcasih se najini pogovori v postelji zavlecejo pozno v noc, ker ima toliko vprasanj. vcasih mi celo nasprotuje, se nasmeji in rece “Ooops?!”. to od tebe nisem dobila nikoli. ti si se najveckrat vdala. tudi naredila si kaj le na moj “ukaz”. mislila sem, da se bo to s casom spremenilo, da bos prevzela iniciativo. ampak nisi. tista moja zacetna navdusenost se je spremenila v zdolgocasenost, vcasih celo v frustracijo. (se spomnis takrat na troli nazaj domov, ko si preprosto nehala sodelovati v pogovoru, ceprav za to ni bilo nobenega razloga?!)
vem, da bi ti bila morala povedat, ampak nisem bila prepricana, da se bo obdrzalo. imam pac navado po stirinajstih dneh zakljucit zadeve, in takrat bi se vrnila k tebi. vem, sem prasica.
ampak sedaj pa res ne morem vec. ne morem se vec pretvarjati, da mi pomenis najvec. poznam jo le par dni in ze ima kljuce mojega stanovanja. vsepovsod sma skupaj in ne, nisem se je se navelicala.
prosim, ce naju vidis v mestu, ne prisedi k nama. zate nimam vec casa. bilo je lepo dokler je trajalo, ampak sedaj hocem dati mojo pozornost njej. nocem sploh priti v situacijo, ko bi se morala odlociti med tabo in njo. nocem namrec videti izraza na tvojem obrazu, ko ti recem “ne.” ja, se vedno si mi vsec (ti me vsaj ne poskusas prepricati, da slabo vidim), in ja, se vedno pomislim vsake toliko nate. ampak ne “tako”.
>i fucking miss you.
>so fuck you for not allowing me to.
—–
Poslano z moje mobilne naprave.
>3:0
>she was standing there, almost naked
leaning forward, reading the small text on posters
giving me an excellent view of her body
hair resting on her shoulders
still cupping her breasts with her hands
her long tanned back exposed
my look follows the line of her low-cut panties
from outer side to between her legs
where her thighs formed a triangle
down to her knees
and back to her perfect pirate treasure
im glad im not a guy
hiding that hard-on wouldve been impossible.